the end of an era

It has now been 11 months since I left responsibility sitting on the couch to go and have a peek at the world. I have seen a lot, I have learned a lot, and I have done a lot. While I am currently unemployed and quite broke, I have absolutely no regrets. I have taken 51 flights in 14 countries and countless number of buses, trains, and very dodgy cars. I turned 28 and walked 300 kms. I took 20.28 Gb of pictures. I was awarded a doctorate. As a homage to the past year of trials and tribulations, I would like to share with y'all some of the things I learned.

-patience can be taught

-spit bubbles are the best way to prevent staring

-wet wipes are an extremely valuable commodity

-Israelis are the worst travellers

-sea lions can move fast on land when chasing your mother

-Communists are the best shoppers

-forgiveness can take awhile

-cocaine is made with gasoline and cement

-seat belts are a luxury

-giraffes regurgitate their food

-burning bodies don't smell

-Germans are the worst poker players

-insurance is a waste of money

-Gin is addictive

-the best food comes from a place where English is not understood and hygiene is questionable

-immune systems are meant to be tested

-the best price is obtained by "physical haggling"

-if you faint you may pee your pants

-kava tastes like dirt

-a bucket is an effective door lock

-Poverty is everywhere

-the oldest panda bear is 25

-men love men in gold spandex ladies' pants

-20/20 cricket doesn't make me want to poke my eyes out

-disparity of wealth is the greatest creator of violence

-Immodium really works

-leopards bite when mating

-miming can get you all the basic necessities

-China is polluted

-stalling the engine in a plane can be alot of fun

-Tienanmen square is the largest public square in the world

-you should always keep your receipt for terracotta warriors

-India is dirty

-penguins are the best snorkeling partners

-tortoises drink water

-information control is the major tool of repression

-all countries use puppy dogs to sell toilet paper


-Mr. Bob Squarepants is the happiest sponge I know